Me vs. Brain

Somehow I have to have faith in why I am the way I am.

I wish I could talk to my brain:

Me: what’s this for? [As it hands me a bit of moss, slimed to the sides and bottom up in my hand. ]

Brain: Town and Country down the street ran out of soda, ya know? There’s been a canceled flight and I’m just damage control at this point.

Me: I don’t understand. Where’s the translation section?

Brain: You should not ask me about my day. Terminals are jammed. It’s “All Across the Board.” Give us some time to recover.

Me: Can’t you just concentrate on other things, like sleep?

Brain: The same was said ages ago. This isn’t rational. Deconstruction at the smallest degree is pretty painful for the first 30 t0 60 days.

Me: What if I play Bach, would that get things going…am I housecleaning at this point, or should I jump into a hazard suit?

Brain: Like I would tell you. I am not a masochist.

Me: Yes you are

Brain: That’s likely, if Bach has any say in the matter.

Me: Can we have a document drawn, or is this non-negotiable?

Brain: That’s not up to me–that’s up to the audience.

Me: I wasn’t aware there was an audience

Brain: You failed to notice the rustling of feet?

Me: I thought that was just the movement of your neurons

Brain: Not since you’ve downsized on receptors. Do you think Unions work for free?

Me: What if I offer whole evenings to meditation?

Brain: You’re not the type.

Me: No. That’s true. How long must this go on?

Brain: When is it ever safe to wind-surf, really?

Me: Not since you’ve provided the sharks.

Brain: I just deal with what comes up. Damage control.

Me: Right.

Brain: Don’t get smart.

Me: Isn’t there a switch?

Brain: Yes. But you’ll regret switching it.

Me: I regret this state as it stands

Brain: No you don’t. Wait for the moss to grow.

Me: Grow, or explode?

Brain: You know…trust me in this.

Me: I don’t fucking trust you.

Brain: But, I’m all you’ve got, love.

Me: Stop giving me headaches.

Brain: Stop overloading the damn system!

Me: I am not the one shutting off terminals! I have no control over the tributaries.

Brain: Shrimp, you’re dealing with shrimp, my dear….while as I have had to accommodate sharks.

Me: I could say the same for myself. Add their pink bodies to the moss and I’ve been cultivating useless armies against your currents.

Brain: Leave me be.

Me: Again, I could say the same for myself.

Brain: ever heard of the ghost in the machine?

Me: Descartes, right? Is that what this is? dualism?

Brain: Not dualism. Mind-body problem. Like the sharks and shrimp.

Me: the mind-body problem *is* dualism

Brain: Is that my hand or yours?

Me: both, obviously?

Brain: are we co-dependent?

Me: in the true sense of the word, yes. I depend on you.

Brain: I need a bath

Me: Alright, just don’t invite the sharks.

Brain: As long as you stop shipping me so many damn shrimp!

Me: Which bubble bath? Sweet Pea or Vanilla Bean?

Brain: let me check with the serotonin…yeah, the guys are pretty sold on Sweet Pea.

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